This month (apparently): Suspicion.
I liked this one, a lot happened in it and not much of it was stupid.
Summary
Atlantis team come back from a planet after being ambushed by the wraith, Rodney having been tazed bro. chakotay’s jimmies are rustled as the wraith have been showing all the time and he thinks that that athosians was a spy! meanwhile zlenka and rodney find out how to open atlantis’ garage door so that shepard and blackguy can go around joyriding in space like the loose cannons they are, but before that shep has to be an even looser cannon by convincing teela to follow dr weir’s orders to shove the athosians into atlantis’ jai… ghett… guest houses so they can cart them off to the lantean inquisition who’s chief weapon is surprise, surprise and kangaroo courts… amongst their weapons are surprise, kangaroo courts, fear and the fact that the sun goes all exterminatus on everything in a season or two.
What was i talking about? spacedad is interviewed and he tells chakotay that he’s an idiot and that 9/10 athosians hate the wraith and the other tenth were killed by them. teeyla isn’t on the inquisition list but shows up anyway to say that people aren’t happy. then shep and ford discover that the planet they’re on looks worse than beast wars earth and kerbal space program map view. oh and also there’s one big ass mega-continent about the size of a quarter of the earth’s land masses or to put that into context about one british empire before we lost everything in a poker game with ghandi except for a bunch of islands strategically placed to annoy people, and Gibraltar. halling mutinies and leads the athosians off to set up a penal colo… new home there with teeyla staying behind. now that they have all those dirty peasant heritics out of their hair they go off world again to look at rocks and teeyla and blackguy wonder off to look for the locals.
Then the pinecone wraith attack, a variant of the wraith that i can only assume sprung from the same train of thought as giving romulans helmets to save on ear makeup costs. when running away shep gets tazed bro but only in the arm so he’s fine soon after. turns out teeyla and blackguy got left behind but she calls up a bit later asking for a pickup as blackguy accidentally jumped into a rock trying to avoid getting tazed bro and now think’s he’s Fred Flintstone. chakotay goes full on douchebag and steals all teeyla’s stuff so that he can order rodney to look over it revealing that apparently that plot device necklace from the pilot IS A SPY! and it was activated by shep’s ATA gene because the wraith used it to track the ancients. (who apparently made their distinctive gene really easy to detect by space vampires once again proving that they are idiots). normal people would take this to somewhere where there’s no reception like anywhere on atlantis planet but they’ve got to fill 44 minutes so shep decides to bag himself a live wraith. they then proceed to taze a pinecone guy (bro) who has a bomb on his back because the wraith are so worried about people capturing them alive what with there, until recently, no overtly technological societies capable of holding them left in their galaxy. then they taze the guy who they could afford to put the face stuff on and shove him in a cell.
this feels like a two parter really, i look forward to next week having nothing to do with it.
i can’t remember how to spell teeyla/teyla but that was how they kept on yelling it so that’s how it goes