So last week was terrible, do we get something better this week?

The Teaser:

we start off ceremoniously sweeping last episode under the rug by mkay giving ronan a “first time on the gateship” briefing. once done we get back to the mission at hand: surveying this giant wrecked planet covered in a pile of dead everything and orbited by wraith space hulks. what’s on this giant wrecked planet covered in a pile of dead everything and orbited by wraith space hulks? well some weird energy source in the one intact building.

The Episode:

for aloof space ghosts all into the non-interference business the ancients sure as hell leave a lot of stargates, rings, ships, giegeresque TVs, frozen women, voyeurism orbs, terrible metaphors, powers, wrecked toasters, time travellers, genetics, etcetera, etcetera, around for idiots to poke at.

So on closer inspection the building is an ancient science lab with a burst version of that thing they killed chakotay with.  oh and it’s full of 10,000 year old bodies that are intact presumably because all the microbes on the planet mysteriously got irradiated to death (a fact which doesn’t strike anyone as weird). oh and apparently this is the acient’s attempts to create the next generation of ZedPM because ZedPMs are things that extract non-energy from an empty mini universe (at least that’s how i understand it) and this thing, codenamed: project “WHAT THE FUCK WERE WE THINKING”, is an attempt to use our universe as a giant ZedPM. Rodney decides that this is something worth messing with and science montages the hell out of it but accidentally microwaves a dude and weir puts the kibosh on that. he then becomes obsessed with this for multiple reasons but mostly because he wants to impress sam carter before she can come along and solve it for him. concluding that the acients fucked something up and that he isn’t as stupid as them (a pretty fair assessment all things considered). he ropes sheppard into helping him (through a combination of doing the whole simpsons movie “there’s one time in every relationship that you have to trust me on this yadda yadda” and playing off the fact that sheppard will not miss a chance to get more cancer) and goes off to mess with the thing. Zelenka is like “this will cause physics to fuck off and then the writers can do whatever they want and they won’t have this plot device robbing them of the ability to make ZedPMs the objects of fetch quests so it’s going to go wrong every time” but rodney is like “i got this brah”.

he does not got this brah and blows up 5/6ths of a solar system, fortunately sheppard is like “we gotta go, like seriously” and they escape with help of the Daedalus. understandably everyone is a little suspicious of rodney from now on.

meanwhile in the B plot which takes the same time as the other plot despite clearly not, teylaa and 8 foot tall ronan go off to buy GM crops from the  yokels of the week, which goes about as well as you would think negotiations go when you bring along an 8 foot tall guy whose spent 7 years of his life fighting space vampires and hiding in space caves. oh and ronan runs into one of his old drinking buddies, the Danny Devito to his Arnold shqartszinadwasdaeger. Danny tells him that their old Commanding Officer bald old white guy (different galaxy, same bald old white guys running armies everywhere) also survived dreadlock planet’s demise and is now dealing arms. ronan has teylaa organise a meeting and shoots the guy because he was also kinda evil and sacrificed a bunch of dudes. also teylaa no longer trusts him so i guess the plots tie together.

Sora’s Log:

[[email protected]]: Call me Ishmael.

[[email protected]]: What? Why?

[[email protected]]: It’s the opening lines from an earth book called moby dick about a captain that’s obsessed with hunting the titular beast.

[[email protected]]: it’s a staple of hackey sci-fi writing.

[[email protected]]: hey doctor surely i’m the Ishmael in this relationship.

[[email protected]]: quiet you, i’m trying to speak with my confidant about today, and i’m sorry.

[[email protected]]: fine, fine, i’m going. just wanted to keep an eye on you…

[[email protected]]: as i was saying moby dick is a tale about the obsession of one man and how it brought ruin to pretty much everyone.

[[email protected]]: WHAT DID YOU DO?!

[[email protected]]: well

[[email protected]]: uh

[[email protected]]: give me a moment to work out how best to say this

[[email protected]]: i’m waiting rodney.

[[email protected]]: I blew up a star

[[email protected]]: you blew up a star?

[[email protected]]: yes, and most the planets around it.

[[email protected]]: Why!?

[[email protected]]: as i was getting at earlier i was a little obsessed, just a tad, on this project of mine.

[[email protected]]: a little?

[[email protected]]: admittedly more than a little. we’d discovered a power source built by the ancients like a ZPM but, in short, more powerful.

[[email protected]]: Wait! we have one of those in the city, should i be worried?

[[email protected]]: I doubt it, a regular ZPM generates energy from an artificially created subspace bubble universe where containment isn’t an issue.

[[email protected]]: ahh, that makes me feel much better.

[[email protected]]: why are you telling me all this?

[[email protected]]: i just needed to tell someone about it and remind myself i’m not crazy. of the people i consider among my close friends there’s Sheppard, and he was there and isn’t too happy with me right now

[[email protected]]: Darn skippy

[[email protected]]: there’s Elizabeth who is equally displeased with my recent actions, and Radek who is no doubt planning the best way to say that he told me so. carson would just worry. that leaves you.

[[email protected]]: I feel so glad to be at the bottom of your list

[[email protected]]: no, that’s Lt Cadman with whom i shared a brain with.

[[email protected]]: i think i need to talk to someone else now, you are crazy.

Final Thoughts:

not bad, even if the episode isn’t really clear why rodney’s obsessed over this thing.

and even if it was to impress carter she’s already blown up 6/6ths of a solar system with a blackhole induced supernova so… yeah this is pretty routine in the stargate universe.

see