shit gets real, and when the shit gets real the constipated get going… wait, no… that can’t be right.
The Teaser:
we see the closing events of last episode from woolsey and jack’s perspective, who are holed up in a dank corridor snarking at each other. fortunately shepsquad +2 show up and drop a bomb in the gateroom before scramming to orbit, promising they’d be back.
The Episode:
hey remember niam? course not, i called him nyan and will not yield. the gateship scoops his inert form up and rodney sets about using him to freeze all the others so they can Anti-Replicator Gun everyone. unfortunately upon returning they are shot at and have to hide in their underwater gateship bay that they have now, shut up! everythings broken so they bring down jack to use his powers of action hero to activate the flooded switch on the flooded tardis console and save them but jack and woolsey are captured. nyan wakes up so they have to shoot him and can’t use him to freeze them anymore. ronan proposed pan b: kill everyone but the asurans are borg now, so they might adapt, rodney proposes plan C, blow the shields up so the deadalus can nuke them in peace.
rodney and shep try to rescue woolseyjack but accidentally reveal their plan, carson goes to the chair and blows up the stardrive and everyone goes planting c4 in desk draws, but are captured. things are not looking up for our heroes as the deadalus flies in to make it’s impossible attack run, the asurans activate the shield and…
FLASHBACK! ever seen hustle? it’s a show about a group of con artists working to pull off “long cons”, elaborate plans to steal from the rich and corrupt just to piss them off. it had a pretty clever way of adding suspense into things by showing the con artists’ plan fail and then showing the audience this was all part of the plan by flashing back to seemingly minor background events and conversations that we didn’t hear the entirety of. And that’s what they do here, rodney proposes plan D, load ARG crystals into the desk tray shield emitters and when the asurans activate the shield they all get turned into nuggets and the day is saved. but stargate ops is destroye… wait, no the asurans hit the reset button on it so the day is like SUPER! saved, and Jack unfires everyone so they can run atlantis.
Sora’s Log:
Three! Three power cells! you spend a week reconfiguring everything to run on earthan generators but then these mechanical men show up and install 3. it’s so frustrating, all that work for nothing!
Final Thoughts:
pretty good, the asurans are a little stupid because… well they’re made of goop so why don’t they use this to turn into fake woolsey or fake jack to defeat shepsquad.
Asurans, Great masseurs all things considered.