Misbegotten:
(adjective)
The Teaser:
it’s a couple weeks later. weir, still boarding at the SGC, takes a call from teylaa at atlantis, she’s fine, thanks for asking, yes we’ve had chuck water the plants while you were gone, no, you didn’t leave the oven on, etcetera etcetera. they’ve had no word from either the deadalus or the orion since they set off for the awesomely titled battle of the void last episode, but the have detected a wraith hive heading towards them at intergalactic hyperdrive speeds. fearing that the rest of the wraith know they’re here they cloak and shove carson in the drone chair, reassuring him that this time he won’t almost accidentally kill Jack O’Neill because he’s in another galaxy, might hit shep though as it’s that hive they commandeered, man sheppard is even better at this hyjacking business than sg1 was, he didn’t even need a robot suicide copy. i think we’ll name it moya.
The Episode:
rodney sets about retrofitting the hive to make it usable without a wraith on hand, first off there’s 200 ex-wraith in stasis draining power so they have to go. also mikey knows where they live and how to get to earth, and they can’t trust him, especially seeing as he’s gone for two weeks without feeding on them and has done nothing but try to help them for the last two episodes. teylaa goes in and sees what he wants, he wants a ship and supplies (simian snacks i assume) so he can bugger off or them to trust him and take guards off the door. it’s pretty reasonable too, if he attacks people but doesn’t kill them then they’ll notice and tell on him, if he attacks and kills people they’re going to notice and either way he’s not going to kill anyone if he wants to survive. but the ball of idocy is bouncing and they drag him away to turn him back to human form again, because that worked so fucking well last time.
weir returns with woolsey, who’s reporting on atlantis in an attempt to keep weir in her job. he starts off talking to cadwell who thinks he doesn’t have to answer to the IOA as part of starfleet but woolsey goads him in to telling him his deal, he’s just that good.
meanwhile shepsquad and the hive (flown by constipated teylaa) drop off all those wraith dudes on some planet without a stargate, set up a clinic and tell them all that they’re all recovering from a plauge that wipes out memories, because that worked so fucking well the last time and that time where daniel made out with a 20 year old 80 year old omnicidal maniac. plus mikey’s back and he’s towing the party line so hard that one guy goes off his meds one day and starts conspiracy theorising and is thrown off a cliff.
weir invites shepsquad back for a good old get together only for woolsey to show up and steal her spot before going on to ineterrogate people. shep wants to deck him but weir is like “don’t worry, he’s cool”. on wraith planet carson investigates the guy who died, it turns out mikey is a murder who remembers this shit, is pissed and has a cult for summoning hive ships because… wraith have subspace telepathy, sure. carson gets captured and tells them about a nuke failsafe, meanwhile teylaa flies the hive back to the planet and they save carson (by decking a wraith) and, because a hive is coming and might learn of atlantis’ survival through mikey and his cult, consider nuking the converted-back-wraith along with the humans. eventually they decide that the needs of the many (7 billon earthans) outweigh the needs of the few (100 dudes and 100 skinhead wraith) and… oh, nuke disarmed. fucking mike the wraith and his advanced nuclear bomb disarming skills. ah well, i guess there was an out to that moral dilemma after… shit, the hive’s here… teylaa and rodney may have little control over the hive but they can hit the broadside of a planet and do so. then their hive gets ‘splode but they’re saved by yet another deus ex Daedalus as it’s hyperdrive got fixed.
then woolsey goes home telling them that weir is a good leader, despite not having done much leading this episode, because “the greater good”. i told you he was cool.
Sora’s Log:
i met a strange old man today from earth, he kept on asking me about my people and whether not being earthan, or “tary” as he kept on insisting i call it, made me a liability. i told him to go talk to the tall dredlocks guy and see what he has to say on the subject.
i don’t think he’ll be bothering me anymore.
Final Thoughts:
seriously? we’re doing the lie to a bunch of amnesiac wraith thing again? to michael for the second time?
like, what the fuck weir? you’re supposed to be smarter that this. at least the acknowledge it in the title though.
“son of a haz-mot”