i can’t really say anything about this one because the big spolier kinda gives the plot away, and it’s kind of a big deal. so instead let me tell you of this guy i once new called Michael. his name was Michael, that’s about it. oh and i know a Mike too.
The Teaser:
so this guy wakes up in atlantis’ new shnazzy multi-layer medlab, which is definitely not a redress of the sgc set, with no memories of who he is or where he is. he does know what atlantis is and the wraith so that’s something. weir, shep and carson come down to talk to him for a bit telling him about how he was a tau’ri soldier attacked mysteriously by the wraith and has been in a coma for ages. then they go off to mysteriously mutter about the day of awakening and how they need to watch him constantly because things are about to go south incredibly quickly.
The Episode:
so this guy, also called Michael, Michael Kenmore walks around a bit feeling all amnesiac and stuff. he makes friends with teylaa, who he remembers having been rescued by, and enemies with ronan, because ronan is a dick. he also gets teylaa’s recursive wraith dream because everyone has that one. seeing as pretty much everyone is being dodgy as all hell around him and it’s making him feel weird he decides to go to doc Carson for some medication and when that doesn’t work go back to carson to find out that kenmore is a place in scotland, by means of a handy wall callender, and that he’s actually a wraith turned human by the new and improved retrovirus. naturally he’s like “what the fuck guys” and, seeing as their counter argument is “humans are just better, ok?”, tries to escape, accidentally killing a dude in the process. then he’s taken round to the alpha site for security reasons. it seems imprisoning the guy who hates your guts in 3 tiny sheds with the one person he can mind control is a stupid idea however and he escapes to some hive ship in the middle of nowhere, presumably to be eaten by his comrades as he’s now a dirty stinking half human half half human half irratus bug concoction.
our heroes assess their situation: the wraith know about atlantis surviving now, the alpha site address was fortunately never shown to mikey though so that’s good, teylaa was almost captured and eaten, they did terrible things to this one dude because they’re space racist, ronan was kind of a dick… and i think that’s it
Sora’s Log:
Uhhhhh… idiots! my return to executive duty could not have come at a better time for the earthans for they are all idiots! upon being appointed head of the Planning Committee after they realised that i was the only competent person in the room i… well first i get swamped with complaints, first off my predecessor decided it was a good idea to knock a floor through so they could have their fancy looking high ceilinged surgery room so i spent all of yesterday supervising the bracing and shoring up of the architecture. then, due to my new liason officer status, i get briefed on an earthan plan to forcibly turn a wraith into a man… look guys i know they’re the wraith and all and they took someone i was very close to from us but speaking as a former enemy of the city if i were them i wouldn’t be able to justify them kidnapping me and changing who i am against my will. i am certain he will turn on them by the end of the day and if they’re going to do something so despicable that it makes me feel sorry for a wraith then i think i’m just going to sit back and let it explode in their faces.
seriously, who’s the real monster here? the life sucking pale men or t… poor choice of question.
Final Thoughts:
to be honest he looks more of a joel than a mike or a… ray is it? anyone else looking forward for the mst3k revival?
this one’s OK for the first half, where mikey is walking around and things are weird and eveyone’s being all shady and he discovers he’s a wraith. their justification for subjecting him to this is nonexistant and if you have me sympathising with the main villains either you’re doing something very well or you’re doing this.
the second half? well after that twist it’s just kind of “how can we get rid of this guy so he can go off and make the season finale happen?” they could have done something like have everyone have a go at trying to convince him to go ahead with the making him more human thing, giving insight into our hero’s thought patterns like having shep go through the pragmatic reasons “they ain’t gonna accept you back in wraith town but we’ll try and make you feel welcome, even if it’s kinda our fault”, rodney: “listen ‘mike’, i’ve had someone else in my head have to ajust to being in a different body, and that was the wraith’s fault so were even, and she did surprisingly well so it can’t be that big a deal.”, carson: “ye don’t have to bloody eat people any more, all that starvation that’s spreading the hive fleet? not your bloody problem anymore”, Teylaa: “i too am part part human part bug, want to hang out?”, ronan: “i’ll kill you you son of a bitch!”… ok, not ronan, and top it off with weir giving the sucker-punch diplomat argument of… uh… this is hard, humans are better ‘K and don’t let that robot man from SG1 S1 tell you otherwise.
He turned into an alien before our very eyes.
(10th January 2006 suckers, not an anachronistic reference!)