this one’s looking to be a bit adventure-ey.

The Teaser:

after last week’s adventure our heroes decide to rest and recuperate at the local tavern. just to get you up to speed ronan the party currently consists of: John the Human Ranger, Rodney the Halfling wizard

Rod69: hey!

fine. Rodney the Halfling scientist and teyla the half-elf bard. the party has recently lost it’s fighter to a mind altering lich curse and is on the look out for a new “muscle”.

SavageRonin: is this where i show up?

yes, as you make to open the tavern door you are approached by a goliath barbarian wearing long fur coat.

SavageRonin: actually it’s fleece

fine, fleece coat.

SavageRonin: i join with the party

RenegadeForLife: “we graciously accept your offer sir, we can offer you a quarter of all gold we make in the future in exchange for watching our backs out there”

SavageRonin: why are you telling me this

LonelyQueen: john is meerly acting out what his character would do in the situation, it’s quite fun when you get into it.

SavageRonin: if that is what pleases you, call me when you want something hit.

not a roleplayer? i’ll keep that in mind. ok as you walk into the bar everyone turns to look at you suspiciously

RenegadeForLife: why is no-one ever happy to see us, “what seems to be the problem barkeep?”

“we’re just not used to having travellers come in this late” he says. one of the elderly patrons buts in “if you know what’s good for you you’ll go back the way you came”.

RenegadeForLife: “hey, what’s your problem”

the barkeep is also perturbed, “they can’t go out now, the beast is out there”.

Rod69: a plot hook! “pray, what beast?”

the barkeep lowers his voice as if scared. “for the last week a strange pale man has stalked the forest, as he does every year, around our town, draining the life out of people”

RenegadeForLife: neat, a vampire hunting job. we take it.

The Episode:

the old man tells you that many years ago a cult of vampires came to the land, after a fierce battle that cost them many good men including his own son they managed to slay all of the cultists.

Rod69: “well obviously not”

well i was getting to that. “we have been unable to track it through the dense forestation the area and would pay handsomely for anyone able to bring it to us on a pike”

RenegadeForLife: “tracking’s my middle name. now lets talk numbers”

he offers you 5 gp if you find the lair of the vampire, 30 if you ensure it won’t be a problem for them any more.

RenegadeForLife: sounds excellent, i’ll just roll for tracking plus four. [3] damn.

LonelyQueen: poor luck john. i cast detect monsters.

roll for it

[7]

you detect a faint signature, you can’t seem to discern a direction

SavageRonin: tracking is under survival right?

yes.

SavageRonin: brilliant, i have a lot of points in survival. a ‘plus 6’

RenegadeForLife: plus 6? you da man dex!

[16]

RenegadeForLife: You da… double man!

you discover 2 sets of tracks that lead you to a cave. there is a strange figure standing just out of your view.

SavageRonin: i aim my boomerang and…

the figure scarpers deeper into the cave.

RenegadeForLife: after him!

SavageRonin: after him!

LonelyQueen: after him!

Rod69: run away!

you follow the figure into the cave and come across the door.

SavageRonin: i barge it down [20]

you masterfully sweep apart the door, everyone take a 1d6 inspiration die

RenegadeForLife: neato.

behind the door is an alchemical laboratory. the figure, a young…

Tyranosora joined the room

Tyranosora: hi!

by the way guys welcome our special guest star sora.

LonelyQueen: her?

yeah, whatever problem you guys have with each other  keep it to yourselves at least till the game is over.

Tyranosora: i’m a vampire girl

Rod69: i thought we agreed no PvP.

think of it like the special guest villain from batman ’66.

Rod69: fine. fine.

SavageRonin: i attack the vampire girl.

not so fast, she’s hiding behind a man who looks to be in his late 60s or early 70s. “don’t hurt her!” he exclaims.

SavageRonin: “sir are you aware this girl is a dangerous vampire, you must let us neutralize her before she hurts you and those around you”

“nonsense” he exclaims, “she is my daughter”…. they are clearly not biologically related before you ask.

RenegadeForLife: “but mister, she’s a vampire. she eats people”

Tyranosora: “eat people? no way. daddy helps me so i don’t have to”

RenegadeForLife: “you don’t have to feed on people, how?

“a serum of my own devising”

Tyranosora: “it tastes icky”

CarsonBeckett is online

CarsonBeckett joined the room

RenengadeForLife: ahh, look who finally showed up

CarsonBeckett: sorry i was dealing with a… medical emergency.

CarsonBeckett: you really don’t want to know while you’re this sober

Rod69: Sober?

RenegadeForLife: Carson you’ve just missed some pretty big stuff, there’s this vampire girl

Tyranosora: hi!

RenegadeForLife: who’s apparently surviving off a serum so she doesn’t have to eat people. but there’s still a bunch of people in the area getting killed. can you identify it to see if they’re telling the truth.

CarsonBeckett: i keep on telling you, i’m not that kind of cleric… look i can do an arcana check on it.

sure, roll.

[8]

you ‘re not sure, it will take extensive studying to determine it’s success.

“i’m telling you, it’s not her. it’s the other”

Rod69: radek what is it with you and vampires, every week we run into vampires. was one not good enough for you.

i just felt it was good commentary on our current situation.

Tyranosora: Afraid of the teenage wraith rodney?

Rod69: a little, yes.

CarsonBeckett: He’s right Radek, i’ve even started enchanting de-vampiring magic items between sessions.

SavageRonin: if she’s a wraith then she must die!

LonelyQueen: she lives in this cave with a human and if she has not killed him she is surely no monster. we should focus our efforts on finding the other.

SavageRonin: fine

RenegadeForLife: can’t argue

Tyranosora: who are you and what did you do with the real Teyla.

LonelyQueen: i have been nothing but accepting of your unfounded vendetta against me.

guys, not around the table.

LonelyQueen: whether you continue to blame me for what happened to your father or not is matters not. we are colleagues now and this constant hassling is making my life unbearable.

teyla!

LonelyQueen: for all this time i’ve offered you the same friendship we shared before the incident and all you’ve done is throw it back in my face. this has to end

Sakra! we are supposed to be having fun!

Rod69: then crack open a beer, this is great!

Tyranosora: wow… i’m… i’m sorry.

CarsonBeckett: Drunk Rodney!

i concur.

Tyranosora: teyla i’m really sorry. how about i use my wraith senses to find the other one?

*Vampire, but if it’ll get the game back on track? sure! teyla roll assist.

[15]

so that’s advantage, sora: 2 d20s, an insight check.
[1] [12]

the dice smile on you today. you have visions of a river. “there is a river 500m to the north” the old man pipes in.

RenegadeForLife: great, let’s hunt this sucker down!

Rod69: not so fast, carson?

CarsonBeckett: present

Rod69: you have those vampire converter mjigs, let’s use one on sora.

Tyranosora: i can be a real girl? yipee!

alright whoever brought the prequels to Atlantis is my new arch-nemesis.

Rod69: JarJar versus Wraith. now!

SavageRonin: can we get back on track? i roll survival again [roll] 15

you happen upon a cave full of cultist artefacts, teyla you can still sense the vampire nearby. carson, roll for your item, DC 10.

Rod69: i assist!

[1]

CarsonBeckett: well done rodney

Rod69: well crap.

you have disadvantage

Tyranosora: please don’t turn me into a pile of goo!

[9] [1]

well…

Tyranosora: oh noes!

Rod69: i should have saved my crap.

Sora you are overtaken by bestial desires.

Tyranosora: “Run guys, i can’t help myself!”

you guys really find amusing ways to disrupt my plans.

SavageRonin: we were fighting.

oh right. roll inititive

SR [8] RFL [16] LQ [19] R69 [10] CB [5] TS [20] OM [3] wrai… vampire [18]

SavageRonin: Darn!

Rod69: you need to learn to swear, radek! teach him to swear.

Rodney i’m not sure if you’re more insufferable sober or drunk

Rod69: insufferable? i’m adorable!!!

Tyranosora: so am i!

CarsonBeckett: sorry miss you’ve turned into a hideous spider monster.

she has? yes, she has.

Tyranosora: what do i do now i’m evil

resist attacking your friends and f… ohhh, sorry. i didn’t expect this to come up.

Tyranosora: wounds must heal. [7],

at point blank range you throw your… this is awkward, the old man against a rock. he takes [roll] 8 points of damage and is into negative HP. the only people close enough to respond are rodney and carson

[12 +2] [15 +2]

you don’t break past her fortified AC. the other vampire arrives, everyone else has one turn before you arrive.

Tyranosora: 17! i attack the other vampire.

on a 20, 2d10 +5 damage

[20] [10, 9]

yep, he’s dead.

CarsonBeckett: rodney, give me an assist on stabilizing old man

Rod69: Assist!

[1]

[1] [19]

CarsonBeckett: jesus rodney, did you smash a mirror recently.

Rod69: I Blew up a SUN!

RenegadeForLife: So you did.

how could we forget?

SavageRonin: i have to agree with dr beckett’s earlier sentiments.

the old man grips you, “i…

Rod69: we do not have time in our lives for yet another of your famous 3 minute death speeches.

LonelyQueen: is it next turn?

yes

Tyranosora: 5. ah well, twas fun while it lasted.

you attack [roll] teyla.

Tyranosora: i guess old wounds don’t heal.

[17] [2]

you grapple her to the floor doing minor damage.

RenegadeForLife: i join the foray [1]

rodney i think your luck is becoming contagious. sheppard you are knocked prone.

Rod69: i’m going to run before i accidentally cut my own head off.

SavageRonin: coward, she is on the floor?

yes, why

SavageRonin: i have an ability that grants me one hit kills on prone enemies on a roll of 15 0r higher. [17] i take my weapon and

Weirster98 joined the room.

Weirster98: AR-1 you are overdue on your mission to m3x-207.

Ok guys, resume when you get back?

Final Thoughts:

and then the actual episode happened. it was a pretty good one. i would recommend watching it. also sheppard was scratched by the wraith girl who, it turns out, did eat people but wasn’t evil.

and wraith are part that glove milk bottle puppet from 38 mins so… that’s kind of lame.

by the way stellar work on the make up/special effects.