The Teaser:
things are pretty slow around atlantis so weir and king ronan have resorted to watching the famous spectator sport of old men chess. i imagine this would have concluded in weir nagging at the referee over what consititues a foul before backing down but for some reason this high octane sport isn’t dex’s saucer of milk (that’s an expression, right?). even weir ain’t got time for this irrelevant metaphor for patience and goes to visit rodney in the atlantis ZedPM powered 4x room where they discover a leftover lantean mon-cal cruiser is just lying around in space. seeing as cadwells about to fuck off back home weir has shepsquad hitch a ride with him.
The Episode:
it had been a pretty ok day for the Captain Dawson of the starship aroura, that world’s best boss mug from first officer trebel had been a pleasant surprise, plus there was that nice wedding he got to perform between Lts Cambell and Cambell, they even got those mirrors installed on the ladders for security reasons, oh and engineering said that the modifications to the hyperdrive that would allow them to get back home to atlantis were going well. he was feeling pretty chuffed with himself when that “lt Colonel John sheppard” fellow showed up blathering nonsense about how they were all inside a computer program and it’s 10,000 years in the future. poppycock, surely it’s now right now. what next, he wondered, lantea taken over by androids using alterans as nonsenical batteries? thank janus they put that guy in a cell before he hurt himself in his madness. most disturbingly the sheppard bloke seemed to be right, phasing in and out of his prison cell. no, actually most disturbingly was how trebel kept on marching sheppard off in front of him and bringing him those little pills that kept him awake. “we need to work on the hyperdrive” she said. he was actually pretty glad when that rodney fellow showed up and made mutally awkward passes at her because for once he wasn’t the one feeling weird. all-right fellow that rodney, and he was warming to sheppard as well especially when they revealed that creepy first officer was replaced by a wraith who wanted to steal out hyperdrive tech. oh he was right about this being a matrix cash in. oh well, he’s sure that they’ll enjoy that thing about the wraith’s secret weak spot that nobody ever bothered to look at… that was deleted? oh well, at least he can give him the self destruct code so that he can blow up all the crews white old men bodies.
And now: the reference you’ve all been waiting for:
Ooo heh hey
Oh
What we’re living in
Let me tell ya
It’s a ship that’s full of ancients all
With 1 k lenght it isn’t small
Who can tell
What science spells
We’ll be doing for us
And I’m building hyper drives in this world
Only to be told
I’m not real
we’re all old
i’m glad we don’t pee
And wraith are going to change the way we live
’Cause they will always take but never give
And now that she is stealing our hyperdrive.
Whoa
It’s a crazy world we’re living in
And I just can’t see that that chick is a vampire dude and all we have to give shep…
Secrets
We Lost
Virtually the waith deletes, and now we
Seem to
need to sacrifice all us for, reasons
like to
protect our technology, oh now there is no sound
For we all died in a bomb
Final Thoughts:
this one was pretty good. one big problem i’ve been getting from this, old weir, sheppard fucks a ghost and in fact every appearance of the ancients i’ve seen in this is that they’re losing their mystique. you have stuff like oma desala working in the cosmic 50s diner full of white old space ghost or really all the sg-1 ancient stuff till about season 8 which keeps them mysterious enough to seem like guys who despite being a little unwise could have ruled most of the galaxy and when they failed became space ghost. thanks to all the episodes in atlantis we’e had so far they just kind of feel like starfleet which is boring. then we have all the monty python and the holy Saangral stuff which felt like a bloody shambles. it’s not bad for the episode, but it’s just kind of making these really important dudes seem just regular.
“she’s hawt”
“rodney this is the year 2005, even autobots striking from bases on 2 of cybertron’s moons know that everybody playing a femme in an MMORPG is a fat, middle aged space vampire” “yknow sheppard just because we’re in the caption gag doesn’t mean it’s ok to be dismissive to the existance and validity of nerd girls, this kind of toxicity isn’t good for the internet. plus they’re totally hawt too”
well that escalated quickly