Autumn on Mars
A science fiction novelette by Matthew Crane.
Mika’s Martian Travel Guide, Part 3: How to deal with problems when driving.
There are many challenges that you will have to best when exploring Martian Incognita. That’s one of the reasons why I’m writing this guidebook.
I’m writing this guide so that people like you who come out here after us can know what’s coming.
But you don’t have to if you’re out here to actually explore for yourself.
Even if you are you should still keep reading to the end of this part. I’m about to describe a danger that you should never be unprepared for. This is a danger that will always be there when driving. A danger that you won’t even realise is a danger until it’s too late (unless you read this book). A challenge that is very easily avoidable if you’re not an idiot.
We have just faced and terror of eating while driving.
You may think I’m trying to be funny. I am. I enjoy books that are friendly to the reader and this one will be one of those. But even when you consider that this is still not a laughing matter. The problem of feeding while driving a vehicle is difficult to rise to. And if you’re worried about time which my sister is it could be a problem you cannot avoid.
So this is how we dealt with it:
We had been going for a minute and a half after the Rover started up again and Trip turned to me and said “Are you hungry?”
For a lot of people this means “I’m hungry and I want an excuse to eat” and unusually for Trip this is one of the few things in life where she behaves like usual people.
So the first thing you should do is work out what food you’ve got. I like pasta. It’s a very simple food that you can do a lot of stuff with. I am fond of the tube pasta because it has a shape but not one that gets water stuck in it like pasta shells. We can’t really cook pasta on the go though so that was out. As well as all the sauces. Trip’s pack was (and still is) filled with ready meals. Those are too greasy for breakfast. And there’s also still the problem of cooking them on the go. Same goes for the beans that came with the rover and I want to keep my toffee eclairs for when we get to the mountains. So that leaves us with just one good choice. Cereal.
Filling a bowl of malted wheats with milk isn’t a good idea when you’re moving so Trip looked disappointed when I held a dry cup of them over towards her. She wasn’t that disappointed. She was more “not very amused” after they ended up in a pile all over her.
So that’s why you shouldn’t try to eat when you’re driving. And why you should be glad that you didn’t use milk when you were driving.
If you do need to eat while driving then pack a bar of something. Like a groovy bar.
We ended up having to stop and eat the rest of the cereal. In silence.
We also ended up having to stop again right now. We just crashed. Don’t do that either. I think it’s fine.
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